Registriert seit: 02.03.2006
| Erstellt am 28.03.2006 - 17:49|| |
Hallö^^ Also ich hab da auf ner Seite ein paar Witze über und mit den Charmed Ones gelesen. Die sind echt cool LoL naja leider auf englisch aber ich denke ihr werdets auch leicht verstehen
Leo, now mortal and in his 80s, calls Wyatt in New York one November day.
Leo, "Wyatt, I hate to tell you, but we've got some troubles here in the
house. Piper and I can't stand each other anymore, and we're getting a divorce.
I've had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I'm telling you
now, so you and Chris shouldn't go into shock later when I move out."
He hangs up, and Wyatt immediately calls Chris and tells him the news.
Chris says, "I'll handle this."
Chris calls the manor and says to Leo, "Don't do ANYTHING till we get there!
We'll be there Wednesday night."
Leo agrees, "All right."
He hangs up the phone and turns to Piper, "Okay, they're coming for
Thanksgiving. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?"
Prue, Piper, and Paige are killed by a demon, and float up to heaven. There an elder tells them that because they're the Charmed Ones, they automatically get into heaven, but their earthly lives will still determine how well they live there.
"Basically we will look at how moral you are and assign you your transportation according to that. So the sluttier you are, the worse off you'll be."
The elder turns to Paige and looks at her records.
"Paige, you've been pretty moral, but there have been all those slampieces. So you will get an old Ford."
He then turns to Prue and looks at her records.
"Prue, you've been very moral, but not completely perfect. Therefore we will give you a BMW."
He turns to Piper, looks at her records, and gives an impressed nod.
"Piper, you have been the most moral of the sisters, having married and commited to a monogamous relationship with Leo. How you managed to do that with a pantywaist like him, I don't know, but for reward we will give you a Rolls Royce."
So the sisters get into their cars and drive off through the heavenly gate.
One day Piper is driving in her Rolls, when she spots Prue rolling around the ground, laughing hysterically. She stops the car, and walks towards Prue.
"Prue, what's so funny?" she asks her sister.
"I just saw Phoebe."
"What's so weird about that?"
"She was riding a skateboard."
Phoebe went to the store and said "I want to buy that TV."
The salesman said, "Sorry, Phoebe, but we don't sell to you."
So, Phoebe went home and cast a spell to glamour her into Paige.
The next day, she went back to the store and said, "I'd like to buy that TV."
The salesman said, "I'm sorry, Phoebe, but we don't sell to you."
Once again, Phoebe went home, cast a spell to glamour herself into Piper and then went right back to the store.
"I'd like to buy this TV."
Again, the salesman said, "I'm sorry, we don't sell to you Phoebe."
Finally, she asked, "How do you know I'm Phoebe?"
The man said, "Because that's not a TV; it's a microwave."
Piper and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from San Francisco to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? Piper, tired and unable to freeze him due to a crowded palne, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa.
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches Piper's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" Piper doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes Piper, and hands her $500.00. Piper says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes Piper again and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, Piper reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
The sisters, Cole and Leo are all in the living room, chatting or reading.
"Hey," Phoebe whispers to Piper, "I bet I can make you're boyfriend Leo really wild with happiness."
"Oh yes?" says Piper, "I bet you can't."
So Phoebe stands up, walks to the middle of the room, and does this really sexy, erotic dance. Leo looks very happy.
"Well," says Piper back to her, "I bet I can make your boyfriend Cole wild with happiness too."
"Oh yeah?" says Phoebe, "I bet you can't."
So Piper stands up, walks over to Prue .. and knocks her out.
One day Cole is in the house and he hears lots of noise from the living room. He rushes in and the 3 sisters are having a terrible argument about which one is the most powerful. Finally Prue loses her (short) temper. She starts using her telekinetic power, and throws furniture around the room, smashes mirrors, makes holes in the walls, and does an awful lot of damage.
Then she walks up to Phoebe. "Who is the most powerful of all?" she asks.
"You are," says a scared Phoebe.
Then Prue walks up to Piper. "Who is the most powerful of all?" she asks.
"You are," says a scared Piper.
Then Prue walks up to Cole. "Who is the most powerful of all?" she asks.
Cole turns into Balthazar, and grabs Prue by her ankles. He whirls her around his head, and then bashes her several times into the wall. She drops to the ground. After a few minutes she gets up and dusts herself down.
"Okay," she says, "no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer."
The three sisters obtain this magic mirror. If you told it the truth, it would give you a million dollars. If you told it a lie, 'poof' it would swallow you up in a magical cloud of smoke. According to some, Prue is the most intelligent sister, Phoebe is the most vivacious sister, and Piper........is the best cook. But being sisters, they are all jealous of each other.
Prue walks up to the mirror. "I think I'm the most vivacious women in the world." 'Poof', she vanishes in a cloud of smoke.
Piper walks up to the mirror. "I think I am the most intelligent person in the world." 'Poof', she vanishes in a cloud of smoke.
Phoebe walks up to the mirror. "I think ........." 'Poof', she vanishes in a cloud of smoke.
Also davon gibts noch mehr aber ich denke das sind ein paar der witzigsten.. Viel Fun beim Lesen!
Wir verlangen das Leben müsse einen Sinn haben,
aber es hat genau so viel Sinn,
wie wir selber ihm zu geben imstande sind.
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