Erstellt am 31.03.2006 - 17:38

Dachte, das bereichert unseren Englisch-Thread noch etwas. Wenn es den Rahmen sprengt, möge die Admin den Thread bitte wieder entsorgen.

Fange mal an mit einer Sache, die ich sehr unterstütze:

INNER PEACE

I've been told
that a way
to achieve
inner peace
is to finish
the things
I have started.

Today I finished
two bags of potato chips
and a chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

Erstellt am 31.03.2006 - 17:42

Excerpts from actual employee evaluations Maybe any of these sound familiar ?
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiousity.
3. I would not allow this employee to breed.
4. This associate is really not so much a has-been as a definitely-won't-be.
5. Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
9. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
10. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
11. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
13. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
14. A room-temperature IQ.
15. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy thats hold it all together.
16. A gross ignoramus ..... 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
17. A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on.
18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
19. Bright as Alaska in December.
20. One-celled organisms outscore him on IQ tests.
21. Donated her body to science before she was through using it.
22. Fell out of the family tree.
23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
24. Has two brains; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
25. She's so dense, light bends around her.
26. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
27. If she were any more stupid, she'd have to be watered twice a week.
28. If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.
29. If you stand close enough to her, you can hear the ocean.
30. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
31. One neuron short of a synapse.
32. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
33. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.


I absolutely love no. 30 and 33!

Erstellt am 31.03.2006 - 20:32

Da habe ich was zu tun, The sentences to read and translation to do german.
Ich hoffe der Satz stimmt.

Erstellt am 31.03.2006 - 20:35

ich finde die idee klasse, danke heidi!

I feel like a human being. In the end no matter how different we are, people are people.

Uncertainty is part of me, it's a basic premise of my work. After all, we have no objective justification for feeling certain about anything - Viggo

Erstellt am 31.03.2006 - 20:53

i have the same problems, jule

but the idea is really great, heidi.

Erstellt am 31.03.2006 - 21:51

Girl, I'm sure you already got the first posting translated. And you will admit that finishing things makes you feel better

Erstellt am 31.03.2006 - 21:59

The first is okay, but the second ist very difficult.

Erstellt am 31.03.2006 - 22:03

I know, it was not easy for me either but it's easier than it looks at first sight.

Erstellt am 01.04.2006 - 14:11

THIS IS FOR THE GIRLS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days.

In the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit...

Repairmen refused to work in the house...

The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually, even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

Let's show some spine by simply continuing to seek and tell the truth. Viggo

Erstellt am 02.04.2006 - 15:13

great story